BIG! Anyone?

Ever feel like your destined to do something big? No? What about be someone big? Not necessarily a celebrity or anything, but lets say find a cure for Cancer, or help people living in low income housing, anything. Still no? Well, ever since birth (so cliche, I know), I just knew I was born to be someone "BIG". Be it in the big sense of the word or small sense of the word.

Here I am early twenties, living a fairly reasonable, you could even say "fortunate" life. I'm mostly happy, I'm healthy, I have a great closet, and several cute guys who like me. Why is NONE of that fullfilling then? I'm not saying that if I were to all of a sudden drop my selfish existence and went to work for Amenesty International that I would feel loads better, but what if i did.

It's like that scene in the movie 8 Mile when Eminem is in the car with his fat friend and asks him "ever feel like you need to stop living up there (lifts his hand), and start living down there" (lowers his hand). I'm paraphrasing here, but I guess that's what my point is. When do we stop? When do we stop wanting to be Movie stars, and Rocket Scientists, Astronauts, a wealthy athletes gf, Madonna, Madonna, Madonna, Madonna...anything really. When do we stop wanting, hoping, dreaming to be BIG?

Is it after marriage, children, weight gain, heartbreak, or a career?

I wonder how many people's careers has held them back from doing what they really wanted to do, be, or become. Minding the Gap--I'm so over that!

Bonjour!

I'm still around!

What's the BIG deal anyway? "PG-13"

So yesterday my sometime bf and I were having a romantic dinner. It was going really well. He has this obsession with Morocco, and has been learning Arabic, planning a trip, and even took up cooking classes to make the food just right. Naturally he wanted to show off his skills of making delicious exotic food. Who was I to disagree? I order take-out most every night. As much as I love them, Fried Cream Cheese Wontons begin to taste a bit blah after having them every day for quite some time. Besides they clog your insides. But I digress...

The food was pretty damned good. We had Moroccan pancakes. It was the whole breakfast for dinner thing, but not exactly because there was still couscous, and some other random dishes. It was like being at at sampling, none of it made sense, but I appreciated the effort.

So we have dinner, and are relaxing having glass after glass of wine, and watching 'America's Got Talent' hoping that our favs don't get kicked off, and I...begin to do other things....with my hands....

I won't go into explicit detail, but you get the drift, no? About, I dont know, three minutes in, I, actually WE, realized there really wasnt any response. Dont ask my why, but I began to laugh hysterically. Usually that act has the assumed affect on men right? I wasn't plagued by it-I knew it had to be the glutinous glasses of wine-but, he wasn't so pleased by my reaction.

It's not as though I was laughing at him, just at the hilarity of the situation. I had hoped that the wine, and dinner would lead to the bedroom, as I am sure he did as well. Neither of us planned on dealing with an erctile dysfunction issue. No, we had never had this problem before, and so I was taken aback slightly by his immediate annoynace with my laughter. I was rightfully (I think) pissed by his decision to bring our festivities to an end.

I ended up watching the rest of 'America's Got Talent' alone. In newly purchased La Perla that was never taken off the way I had imagined when putting it on.

Pancakes, kebabs, Couscous, and a milky dessert already consumed. I ordered Wontons after the nightly news :(

Blame Tara Meme

Thanks Gaelikaa


Question 1: Who do you think is the hottest movie star?

Gosh-what a difficult question. Honestly. Brad Pitt. Hands down.

Question 2: Apart from your house and your car, what is the most expensive thing you have ever bought?

Ohhhhhhhhhhhh, In my day to day life this is a trick question. Lets go with most recent purchase. Chloe wedges. see previous post for price.

Question 3: What is your most treasured memory?

When I was about five or six (don't ask me how I remember this, but I do-like it was yesterday. I was kneeling on my grandmothers bed beside her and we were resting on the windowsill (my grandomother was extremly religious and a devout Catholic) and we were praying-I looked up at the white sky and an image of Jesus-beard, long hair ect appeared in the sky in black outline. I was so shocked that I went to nudge my grams so that she would look up at the sky and see what I saw. It had dissapeared. I don't know that it's a treasured memory, but its makes my number one. I barely rememeber my grams. She died when I was ten. I can remember that morning completely.

Question 4: What is the best gift you’ve ever received as a child?

The complete works of C.S.Lewis. That's when I fell in love with fantasy.

Question 5: What is the biggest mistake you’ve ever made?

I make big mistakes each day. Do I really have to choose?

Question 6: Give four words to describe yourself.

fun fun fun fun

Question 7: What was your highlight or lowlight of 2008?

Highlight: I made employee of the month
Lowlight: I almost got a DUI

Question 8: What is your favourite film?

American Beauty

Question 9: Tell something not generally known about yourself.

I'm a True Blood FANATIC!

Question 10: If you were a comic strip/cartoon character, who would you be?

Rogue

7 Words That Best Describe Me

I was tagged by Armyblond.

Loyal
Frivilous
Funny
Quite
Expensive
Thoughtful
Abrupt

The list is all over the place I know, but its true.

7 tags coming soon.....

Ten Truths

I've been awarded the 'Honest Scrap Award' award by Gaelikaa and I think Armyblond.

I have SEVERAL Lesbian Crushes: Yes, You've read right. We all have them-no matter if we're actually closet lesbo's or its just a girl thing. They are, in no particular order:

Laura Linney
Katy Perry
Jennifer Tilly
Amber Rose
Maggie Gyllenhaal
Chloe Sevigny
Rosamund Pike
Heike Maktasch
Helena Bonham Carter
Elisha Dushku
Jennifer Connoley
Keira Knightley
Marie Louise Parker

I am half Jewish: I dont really follow my Judaism side. Actually, I dont know much about the religion apart from the stereotypes passed on via NBC sitcoms. I consider myself Catholic (my moms religion) in case you wanted to know how I would turn to God after I choose to give up my hedonistic side.

My friends forced me to start this blog: So if you like it or hate it thank them :). I have always read blogs, but had never thought of starting my own. Its actually very liberating having a blog. Though at times I think i'm too honest. Oh, Well!

Barack Obama is begining to ERK me: I keep politics off this site!!!! I also DON'T want to turn this into a huge discussion about Foreign policy, Iraq, or Beers after racial profiling, but it's something that has come up of late. I voted for the guy.

I am unable to finish most everything I start: Its quite sad. You'd have to see it to believe it. I have begun about ten or twelve novels and they are all half completed and will probably stay there until I become more disciplined.

I've Just started Karate: The need to break things has completly overpowered me. Though after signing up I was told that breaking things is in a totally different form of martial arts :(.

Dr. Rivkin: Is a wonderful non conformist plastic surgeon based ouf of Los Angeles. He pioneerd the non surgical nose job a few years back. I dont need another nose job, but the fact that I could have gotten that done and avoided the anesthetics burns me. I guess the truth is that i've had surgery. But you knew that right?

I don't think Tom Brady is attractive: I lie, I just thought that would be fun to type. Seriously though. It's like the East Coast American staple. Vuitton and Tom Brady.

I will be attending IMATS Toronto: IMATS stands for International Makeup Artist Trade Show. Its is hosted on a yearly basis in different countires by makeupmag.com I love beauty as much as I love clothing, and every major makeup artist and brand will be in attendance. Plus everything is 40% or more off. You cant beat that. I'm just about tired of paying $15 or more per Mac eyeshadow.

I love Sadie Dark: A fellow blogger recently sent me an e-mail asking me whether or not I "really" liked Sadie. I do! All of my friends do actually. I get a kick out of her. It's hard to be honest sometimes. She always is. I dont mean to put that blogger out there, because I adore them too, but I just thought it was hilarious. To read more from Sadie look to the right under you make me feel good.

I have to tag seven (7) other bloggers I will in my next post.

TAG TAGS TAGGED

I will be responding to them later today. It takes a while and I have been on hiatus. Blame it on registering for classes, work, men ect. I am not ignoring anyone. See you later today! Armyblond-Mel-Gaels